The European Commission has just
announced an agreement where by
English will be the official language of the
European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British
Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement
and has accepted a 5-year phase-in
plan that would become known as
"Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace
the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have
one less letter.
There will be growing publik
enthusiasm in the sekond year when
the troublesome "ph" will be replaced
with "f".
This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse
of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the
removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl
mes of the silent "e" in the languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be
reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o"
kan be dropd from vords kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil
hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or
difikultis and evrivun vil find it
ezi tu understand ech oza.
Ze drem of a united urop
vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be
speking German like zey vunted
in ze forst plas.
The European Commission has just
announced an agreement where by
English will be the official language of the
European Union rather than German,
which was the other possibility.